SHOULD YOU LOOK THROUGH YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND'S PHONE?

Like, if this sounds familiar:

Funke snooped through her boyfriend’s phone and found something she didn’t like. She’s been obsessing over it for days, wondering whether that EMOJI was really just a friendly one. “Does it look suggestive? Do you think he’s really watching football? Or is he with that girl from work that he sent that EMOJI to?”

First you’re using your girlfriend’s phone to check the scores while she picks out an outfit for dinner. Then you’re scrolling through her texts. Next thing you know, you’re practicing your ninja skills every time she leaves the room—you silently summersault over to her phone at lightning speed, just to see if anything is amiss. Meanwhile, your heart hammers as you listen for her footsteps coming down the hall. Be warned: if she doesn’t get you, the anxiety of getting caught will.

We’re all a little quirky. Our phones have become a diary for our weirdness. We have silly pictures to cheer us up on a bad day, notes in the notebook app, inside jokes with friends, and many more.

Snooping will end you up in learning things about yourself that you didn’t want to know; Remember that time Jimmy really pushed your buttons because he watched Kumkum Bhagya without you? In the heat of the moment you text your best friend a ton of horrible things that you didn’t really mean but had to say—like how he’s a rotten, TV spoiling jerk with no feelings.

Well, unless you want to hear about all of your flaws, you’re better off not snooping.

In the world of smart phones, dating is a whole new game. We text instead of call. We find perfect matches with the swipe of our thumbs. We start and end relationships by pressing “send”.

Where are the boundaries? With the simple press of a button, you have access to everything your loved one does on their phone- every tweet, text, email, and phone call.

Sure, you are curious. But should you peek? YES! or NO!

The truth to a successful relationship is trust. When you start dating someone, you aren’t just trusting them to be physically faithful anymore. We also expect them to refrain from unfaithfulness when we aren’t looking. The central question to dating nowadays is, can you fully trust someone unless you know what they are doing on facebook or who they are texting? There is no concrete answer, but it is certainly an interesting concept to grapple with.

Every couple has their own protocol for what level of communication is appropriate. Some couple hardly question or think about their partner’s texting and online habits. Some couple too feel the need to know exactly where their partner is and who they are speaking to at all times. The capital offense is snooping through one another’s text messages when they are unauthorized to do so.

I believe that the root reason people go through one another’s phones is more than “curiosity.” I think those who feel the need to go through their partner’s phone are doing so because they aren’t entirely convinced their partner is trustworthy. These hunches seem to be overwhelmingly verified once they go through their partner’s phone but shouldn’t a relationship be based off of an underlying level of trust that is strong enough to stop you from going through their messages?

The unfortunate thing about texting is that sometimes fairly innocent conversations can be perceived as far worse than they really are.

Our virtual lives should be kept private. You shouldn’t have to explain why you answered someone’s text or call. Couples end up arguing about random texting conversations that meant nothing. I think invading our partner’s privacy by going through their messages causes far more harm than good. Innocent things cause arguments.

If you find out your partner is lying or cheating, suddenly you are guilty of invading their personal phone which isn’t a small offense either.

All in all, my personal opinion is that you have no grounds, no matter what the situation is, to go through your partner’s phone. If you are overwhelmingly suspicious that something is going on between your partner and someone else, should you really be with that person anyways?

Relationships are about trust. It takes a long time to build this trust, and just a moment to destroy it. Don’t let that moment be you snooping through your loved one’s phone.

As scary as it can be to place your heart in someone’s hands and trust them not to break it, it’s well worth building a strong, trusting relationship. Besides, would you want your significant other to invade your privacy? Not a chance!

Respect each other’s boundaries and build your relationship on a solid foundation of trust.

Agree? Disagree? Leave your comments