At the age of 30,
most men feel they are ready to get married! They sit in the midst of their
friends and pass comments like, " I am ready to marry", "I have
been eating outside for a very long time so I need a wife", "my
mother needs grandchildren" amongst others. Do men really marry for the
right purpose of marriage or for a caretaker? I think most men marry for a
caretaker!
For most of human
history, people didn’t marry because of their feelings for one another.
Feelings didn’t matter in the ancient world. Why?
Because to hell with
feelings, there are fields to plow and cows to feed and holy crap Attila the
Hun just massacred your entire extended family the next village over.
Marriage was meant
for baby-making and sound finances.
For most of human
history, for the majority of humanity, their sustenance and survival hung by a
tiny thread. People had shorter life expectancies than my mother’s teacup.
Everything you did had to be done for the simple sake of survival. Marriages
were arranged by families not because they liked each other, and especially not
because they loved each other, but because their farms went together nicely,
and the families could share some cocoa or corn when the next flood or drought
hit.
Marriages were a
purely economic arrangement designed to promote the survival and prosperity of
both extended families.
In our history, there
has been a drastic change from marrying for survival to the actual purpose of
marriage; companionship, love, support, partnership and so on.
As a man getting
married in the 21st century, you have to consider your status and the status of
the kind of woman you want to marry. For instance, if you are an average
educated farmer in a village, you marry a woman who will be a caretaker because
to you numbers count or you expect to find food on your table after a long day's
work.
But if you are a man,
enjoying the dynamics of the world just as the woman you want to marry, then as
your life changes, that indigenous mindset also changes!
In this case, you
don't expect to find food always ready, you are expected to cook when your wife
is busy with work, with the kids or you help your wife in the kitchen to get
food ready and eat together! That is companionship, support, love, partnership;
the purpose of marriage.
If a man marries for
babies, he tends to leave the marriage if his wife is not able to get pregnant.
If he marries for the sake of having a cook, he ends up cheating when he
doesn't get the reason for the marriage! No wonder there is a cheap saying
that, "the way to a man's heart is through the stomach ". This is
causing a lot of divorce and separation in today's marriages.
Find your purpose of marriage and choose a bride.
